When to Call in the Coach (page 2 of 3)
People and sometimes even whole organizations try to live
with the situation and hope it goes away. Instead, one of
two things happens: the individual or company either dies a
slow death or they become a time bomb that will explode at
an unpredictable time in the near future.
Another major reason that individuals and organizations
don't ask for help and need coaching is that emotions get
in the way of objectivity. It is always a good idea to get
an objective outside opinion whenever one is faced with a
crisis. Good managers and coaches have the ability to
separate their emotions from the crisis at hand in order to
remain objective. Yet, sometimes even the top team members
and organizations get so wrapped up emotionally in "their
world" that they lose their ability to step outside
themselves and assess themselves or the situation
objectively. Remember, one of the greatest values that an
outside consultant or coach can bring to the table is the
ability to be objective and see what the organization
cannot.
The third reason folks need coaching but can't or won't ask
for it is ego, plain and simple. Whether it is an
overabundance or lack of confidence, an imbalanced ego
results in being afraid to ask for help. As mentioned
earlier, many folks feel that asking for help means they
are weak. We, as coaches, know better. Asking for and
receiving help is one of easiest and most effective ways to
improve oneself. The desire for self-improvement is most
definitely a show of strength.
It is not too hard to figure out that fear, emotion and ego
are very closely connected. We could even argue that in
some cases they are essentially the same thing. As coaches
we quite often see two or all three of these elements
working together, actually preying on each other, and
making the need for outside coaching all the more urgent. I
would like to share with you some of my own experiences to
help exemplify my point. See if these situations seem
familiar.
*******
Bob was head of the operations department for a software
company. He was having a terrible time getting his
company's inside telephone hardware installer to provide
the communications infrastructure necessary to ensure the
success of his department and team. Bob complained to his
vice-president. Bob's vice-president then went to the
hardware installer's vice-president regarding the issue.
Nothing changed. Bob's vice-president then told Bob,
"Sorry. I did the best I could. You're just going to have
to tough it out."
Bob called me and told me he was going to quit his job. He
said, "No one is listening to me! Everyone is telling me to
shut up and tough it out. No one is defending me when all I
am doing is trying to help the company. Everyone thinks I'm
the one with the problem!"
Even though Bob's original intent was to be proactive and
solution-driven, the company's attitude of "don't make
waves," combined with his emotions, pushed Bob into the
reactive role of the victim. In order to help Bob see the
light, I asked him to assume the role of company advocate
as opposed to company victim. If Bob's true intent is to
solve a company-wide problem, he must first show the
company that the problem is serious enough to warrant
fixing. He must approach the issue in a businesslike and
unemotional manner. He must act as a statesman and
diplomat.
I asked Bob to document any instances in which the lack of
infrastructure had cost the company time, money or
productivity. Once the data were collected and documented,
Bob's next step was to set up a meeting with his
vice-president in a neutral environment. The objective of
this meeting was to present the data in detail, free from
emotion and outside influences or distractions. During the
meeting, Bob took the opportunity to show how literally
thousands of dollars were being lost due to lack of
productivity from lack of infrastructure. He then presented
a few options and ideas on how the problem could be solved.
I spoke to Bob a few weeks later and he sounded 100%
better. I asked him what had happened to so greatly improve
his morale. He responded that he had a revelation. He
realized that anytime he approached people regarding his
issues, their issues or the company's, he was emotionally
off balance. He saw that because of this he usually turned
people off right away. The result was that by the time he
delivered the core of his message, his audience was already
finished listening. When Bob was able to separate his
emotions from the crisis, he was able to deliver a clearer
message that encouraged his associates to listen and
respond more favorably.
*******
Sometimes opportunities for coaching exist not only when
things are tough, but also when things are seemingly going
well. When things are going well, ego makes it harder for
professionals to face the truth and fear of consequences
makes it harder to admit the truth. The truth of the matter
is, of course, that someone needs help.
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