With Employees, Balance Relationships with Managerial
Distance
By Pamela Mills-Senn
Originally published in Dynamic Manager
July 19, 2000
The manager was confused. Eager to move up in the
organization, she was anxious to behave as managerially as
possible. To her, this meant drawing a distinct line
between herself and her staff, especially when it came to
socializing, which she did exclusively with non-work
friends. As a result, her employees thought of her as
distant and cold, a perception that concerned her.
Just how close are managers supposed to get to their staff?
It's a tough balancing act, says Mark David, president of
The Mark David Corporation, a management skills training
company based in San Mateo, Calif. "Up until the early 80s,
the role of manager was clearly defined," he explains.
"Managers were very autocratic. The boss was the
centerpiece and everyone had to conform to that person,
regardless of their goals. But now, partially because of
the tight job market, employees have more power and can be
more demanding of their bosses. Today's employees want the
'three Cs': care, challenge and coaching. They want
managers, coaches really, who will help them grow. They
don't want bosses who are just going to dictate to them."
Consequently, today's bosses need to know their employees
and their goals. This makes the manager's job one of
maintaining a boss-like distance (necessary for
objectivity) while still building meaningful relationships.
Where the female manager went wrong, David states, was not
in failing to socialize with her staff, but not becoming
involved with them on the job. She also erred in assuming
her resistance to off-hours fraternizing caused negative
perceptions.
Achieving balance can be problematic, says David. "Often
people are promoted based on their job performance or
technical expertise (hard skills) as opposed to their
ability to coach and inspire staff (soft skills). Suddenly
they're in a position where soft skills are essential, but
they've never given these a thought. To make matters worse,
it's very likely their bosses haven't thought of these
either."
The first step in becoming more coach-like is to hear what
your employees are saying to you, David states, because
they are reflecting back who you are. He also advises that
managers:
- As a group, create a vision where your team or
department wants to go based on achieving corporate
objectives. "People need a clear vision. If you don't
know where you need to go, then you're not going to make
the right decisions every day."
- Meet monthly (with no more than 10 employees per
month if the staff is large) giving each meeting focused
attention. Review strengths, weaknesses, goals and how to
achieve them. Keep them on track toward accomplishing
these objectives.
- Build a 'no-fear' culture where employees can seek
help.
Building better relationships is difficult but
necessary, David states. "Today, bosses can't make it
unless employees achieve their own goals. Consequently,
managers must develop the types of relationships that will
keep them in touch with these objectives," he says. |
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