Give Advice that Elicits Positive Response
Originally published in Dartnell's Quality 1st
June 15, 2000
Q: I was recently promoted to a supervisory position
within my department and one of the members of my quality team came
to me for advice on how to handle a customer complaint. I told her
what I would do if I was her. She seemed skeptical when I offered
her advice. How can I connect with my teammates more effectively?
A: According to executive coach Mark David, in his book
Coaching Illustrated: a proven approach to real-world management,
you should avoid the phrase, "If I were you...," unless a team
member specifically asks what you would do. "You aren't them - they
know it and you know it. You don't have the same issues,
relationships, pressures or experiences," David says.
We've all used this phrase before and we've all been on the
receiving end of it as well. Think about when your parents would
tell you this when you were young. More than likely, you weren't
able - or willing - to connect with their advice because you and
your parents were looking at a situation from two very different
perspectives.
Instead of basing your advice on your own experience, David
suggests phrasing it in a way that it sounds like you learned or
observed it from someone who was in a similar situation. For
instance, you could say "One of the internal customer service reps
from my old office had a similar customer complaint. Would you like
to know how she handled it?" David says that by phrasing your
advice in a similar manner, your team member will be more receptive
and willing to follow through on your suggestion.
If your team member specifically asks how you would handle the
situation, David advises you confirm that she wants advice based on
your own experience before providing it. He also suggests you ask
her how she will apply what you've said to her own situation. "This
gives them control over how they will adapt your suggestion and
makes them feel like a partner in the decision rather than a
subordinate," he says. |
